Friends

Oh, Chick-fil-A, why, why, why?  I asked this to no one in particular yesterday morning as my heart raced after seeing a friend's Facebook post and reading his comments about Chick-fil-A and its CEO's recent quote in support for traditional marriage.  I was angry and fired up.  To me, my friend's communication sounded like this:  I am right, and you are wrong. I refuse to acknowledge your side and certain people in this world because of their views.  End of discussion.  In this thread I am expanding on my thoughts for your benefit, but I am not open to hearing your side.

This morning I am calm after yoga class with the parting thought to go forth with peace and love; therefore, contributing to the world.  As I type, my Chick- fil-A age group award winner plaque from the Tobacco Trail 10 Miler mocks me.  A small, stuffed cow sits atop the plaque imploring me to "Eat mor chikin."

My FB friends on both sides of the political spectrum are posting love and hate about the restaurant. What is really sad is that people on both sides of the argument already knew Chick-fil-A makes a tasty sandwich and was founded by a man who held traditional religious and family values.  None of this should be news.  I was tempted to dive into the fray on FB, but I am generally a people pleaser and often decide to keep things to myself instead of publicly patting myself on the back for my own thoughts and beliefs or making others feel bad about their own.

Yesterday around mile four of a sweltering Y run, I found myself surrounded by runner friends helping me talk through the debate I was having with myself over whether or not to keep this FB friend.  After a few miles, I am generally relaxed, and my normal filters fall away so that I am unguarded, honest, and almost uncensored.  At that point I was running with a teacher on summer break, my cupcake-loving friend, and a running series age-division winner who joins us just to slow his pace for an easy run.  Runners are some of the best people around because I find them to be smart, health conscious, driven to improve themselves, and a host of other great qualities.  I was glad to have them there to represent what true friends are.  True friends care about you, encourage you, and make you a better person.

My FB friend upset me.  Most of us probably have this type of FB friend.  I've watched other FB friends publicly cry foul and state that they are deleting a friend when they can no longer take what a person has to say, often citing their own values.  One of my reasons to keep such a person as a friend is because by tuning this type of person out, I am no better than he is. Ultimately, my group helped me to see that if this person isn't contributing to my life in a positive way and is causing me distress, I should just click him away.  And, so I will.  

I don't mind the placards created by various organizations that make a short, simple point and are posted by numerous friends.  Some are clever and informative, and some make me stop and think. I read them and scroll past whether I agree with them or not.   I like to know what people on all sides of issues think, but what bothers me is when someone (who doesn't think like me) states that he need not even acknowledge another person's or group's point of view because he is unequivocally correct in his own thinking.  He implores that a group quit hitting him over the head (his phrase) with their beliefs while simultaneously hitting me over the head with his!

This man will not notice that I am no longer among his 900+ friends.  My cupcake-loving friend would notice if I vanish and am not around to drag her out for a run on a hot summer day or to be talked into trying a caramel, chocolate chip cupcake special of the day.